Tossing Out, Packing In, and Growing Up

On my facebook status earlier today I boasted that I might get in two blog posts today.  As it is now 11:19 PM CST and I am just now writing my first blog post, I don't think that's going to happen.  The good news is that I was quite productive with my other writing today, so perhaps I've justified myself.

As of a week ago this past Saturday, I officially moved back in with my parents.  While I don't regret it, and I am still convinced that it was the right move to make...the transition from living on my own for the past seven and a half years to living back in my parents' house hasn't been easy...for me or them.  I've come to realize boundaries are the issue.  Not exactly physical boundaries like, "This is my room!  Get out!"...but more emotional boundaries.

When I lived at home before, it was under the typical parent/child conditions.  Now, we're three adults living in the house together, but I've noticed that - in some ways - we've slipped right back into the same routine...especially my mother and me.  Even though I have declared that my laundry is my responsibility, my mother still comes through to pick up a few stray pieces here and there.  And today, I caught her making up my bed.  Ridiculous?  Yes, I completely agree with you!  But as the old saying goes, the more things change, the more they stay the same.  I have gone clear across the country and returned...but nothing really changes. I may be twenty-five years old, but put my mother and myself under the same roof, and she falls right back into mothering mode...and sometimes it's a little too easy to just let her do it.

I think in the coming months we're going to learn to redefine our relationship with one another.  We'll have to, or we'll never survive this.  I've got to work to maintain my independence, and she's got to learn to let me.  Even though, I've returned to my roots, I've got to continue growing upward and moving forward.  Life isn't easy.  Hard work has to be done and hard decisions have to be made, so it is a bit tempting to revert to a pseudo-childhood.  But that's not what I want for myself or my parents.  We all have quite a bit left to accomplish, and while we can move forward together, we can't allow ourselves to move back.

That noted, I would like to take the opportunity to really tip my hat to my parents.  Despite these few bumps, they've really stepped up to give me a place back in the house.  Over the last seven and a half years, my bedroom had become my dad's office and retreat, so there's been quite a bit of switching around and finding places for things...and throwing out other things.  My dad and I are both self-admited packrats, so we take any purging very seriously...but we've both really stepped up to the plate.  And my mom, who loves to throw things out, dug deep into the darkest recesses of the kitchen cabinets to toss out random tupperware and kitchen utensils that haven't seen the light of day in 15-20 years to give me room for my accumulated wares.

While I pray to God that this arrangement is not permanent - or even an extended version of temporary - I am thankful for the opportunity to spend some quality time with my parents, my extended family, and my dog (who has currently forgone her expensive bed for a pile of Ralph's reusable shopping bags that have yet to find a home)...not to mention, getting to spend some quality time with my writing.  I've got a few projects in the works, so maybe I'll be sharing a few snippets in the coming weeks!

Until then, good night!